Making a Choice Is Not Wrong, but Do Not Deceive Others or Yourself
- On the surface it looks like a change of heart. In essence, reality defeats love.
Two women together really do have a hard time supporting a “family unit.”
It is not that they do not love each other enough. It is that life is hard to sustain. China’s economic structure, from mortgages to healthcare to elder care, is designed around traditional heterosexual marriage. When two women build a life together, even “shared property” may not be recognized by law, let alone children, medical insurance, or housing inheritance.
They are not “defecting.” They simply have no way forward.
Can you withstand the “marriage KPI” of a small-town family?
Many lesbians from counties, rural areas, or traditional families do not face the question “Do I want to marry?” They face “If you do not marry, we will cut ties with you.”
Some parents threaten suicide every day. Some relatives point fingers and ask, “Why are you still not married?” This emotional blackmail is enough to push someone into a marriage they never wanted.
- Disillusionment inside the circle can destroy people more than love
After being let down several times, some people begin to doubt whether women can be relied on at all.
The circle is small, highly mobile, and fast-paced emotionally. All of this exhausts many people. After being hurt a few times, someone may start to waver: “Would a man be more stable? Are women more fickle?”
Once this idea appears, the outside world can easily push them onto the heterosexual track.
Some people were never truly lesbian from the beginning.
They entered the circle out of curiosity, fashion, or aesthetic preference, but never built real identity around sexual orientation.
After one or two setbacks, they quickly exit, return to heterosexual life, and leave others with the misunderstanding that “being lesbian is only a phase.” That harms the whole group.
- Making a choice is not wrong, but do not deceive others or yourself
You can marry a man, but you cannot get married while maintaining an underground relationship.
You can choose to leave a lesbian identity, and you can choose to enter traditional marriage. But you must be clear: the person inside that marriage is innocent. If you are “playing the wife” while still maintaining relationships in the circle, that is two-timing. It is naked deception.
That behavior ruins another person’s life and also ruins what you once insisted on.
One act of deception makes it harder for other lesbians to be trusted.
If you choose to “pretend to be normal,” it becomes harder for others to exist truthfully.
Those lesbians who are still trying to gain family recognition and enter society honestly may be suspected, misunderstood, and rejected even more because of the mess you leave behind. You leave, but the price is paid by them.
- The bottom line is not “who you love.” It is whether you dare to be responsible to the end.
Everyone has the right to choose a way of life. But once you enter marriage, it is a contract. You cannot play by two sets of rules.
If you only want to “get married to fool your family while still thinking about her,” please do not step into marriage.
If you truly want to turn away, then do not keep entangling the person from your past.
Do not let love become a cover, marriage become a shelter, and responsibility become a joke.
#lesbian-reality